We talk about the aftermath of childhood trauma and we say things like someone “carries a lot of baggage.” The reality is that sometimes rather than “carrying baggage,” it’s like a person is being chased by demons. Demons that stalk you, lurking just outside the door, standing in the shadows watching, waiting, and ready to jump out when you least expect it. They threaten to come in the night and attack while you sleep, leaving you constantly afraid. They threaten to steal your peace of mind and your sanity, and then they whisper in your ear and tell you that it’s your fault because you’re unworthy and unlovable. They rage and shriek, telling you that you’re irreparably broken, that you’ll never be okay, and that nobody will ever really love you. Then the demons assure you that you are powerless and that they will NEVER leave.
Sometimes a person spends their life standing against the door, holding it shut so the terror that is clawing at the other side can’t get in. And eventually they find that if they want any sort of life at all, they’re going to have to armor up, open the door, and literally go to war with demons.
If only it were baggage.